Monthly Archives: July 2017

These are your friends

My first blog post in a long time. Just take a look at my last update.

I made a number of big transitions in my life. So my style and focus here at bibleontap will likely shift to culture.

Recently without too many boring details about my actual life. I will just say that I find myself more isolated then I have been before. I’ve attempted to stay connected with friends and family via social media. But I’ve been increasingly more frustrated and isolated because of the lack of real human connection on Facebook Etc. If everyone went back to just posting things about their life even if half of it was what they were eating for breakfast I don’t think I would mind that much. But I feel like primarily Facebook is a place for clickbait garbage. I recently set up a Snapchat. But about 20 people I know actually have Snapchat. Probably about 6 of them actually use it. Twitter is just not my thing either.

So today I will begin blogging again. Pretty stereotypical I guess. I know that so many people who blog do so rigorously for a year maybe two years 6 months only to go cold turkey for about a year or more. This is pretty much what I have done. But now I’m back because I miss actual content shared by people who take the time to respond to other people’s log posts or write one up themselves.
Anyway. I won’t spend an entire blog post just talking about how I’m back. Who cares anyway. The actual thoughts stirring in my head which compelled me to return to my blog we’re about friendship.

Currently I have no friends who actually live within 150 miles of me. This sucks. That’s my rant about social media. Over the last year or two I’ve attempted to reach out to old friends can keep in touch with current friends. Seeing how people engage via social media primarily has caused me to really feel sad about a lot of friendships. And I use the term friendship slightly here. Because what does that really mean? What is the new definition of friend? I guess this could be a mere acquaintance or someone you’ve known fairly well your entire life. But what does friendship mean to you?

I guess this is tough because some people don’t really experience good friendships anyway. Even without all the social media. Who really has such a thing as a loyal friend who’s there for you when you need them? Who supports you but does not let you get away with crap. Someone who will stand by you and stand with you yet someone who will also oppose you and challenge you. A good friend is all these things and more. You can see some of this taking place via social media. But to be honest of my 2000 plus friends on Facebook I doubt there’s 10 to 20 that I can be really honest with. There are 10 to 20 who I believe may actually really care about me.

I never really thought of my friends on Facebook as actual friends. But I think I believe that a large portion of them especially the ones who I’ve known for many years and shared experiences with we’re actually friends. Don’t think that my tone here is whining. I think it’s just so great for people to realize that you can’t actually have real friends who exists primarily through social media. These are people you can touch. People you can share an actual experience with.

Here’s another thing that I think a friend is not. A friend is not someone who thinks and feels and believes exactly as you do. Since before during and after the last presidential election in the United States our culture is more polarized than ever before. Simply put, a friend is a friend. If they are truly your friend as I said you ain’t you may oppose their views you May challenge their ideas. But friends are not people you gather around yourself because they agree with you or because you like their ideology and they validate yours. This is actually one of the wonderful things about friendships. You believe one way and they believe another. Friends don’t polarize the issues or else they cannot remain friends. And what I mean by polarized is making an extreme contrast between your way of seeing things and the other person’s and determining that there is only one way which is your way and the other side is foolish evil and twisted. I saw this take place between many individuals as well as myself and a handful of others during the political season. Countless people decided they couldn’t be friends with other people and blocked them or unfollowed them or unfriended them on Facebook. This is one of the initial things that got me thinking about friendship and what friendship actually is.

I realize that a lot of people thought that a polarization was necessary because Trump was the devil Sent From Hell. Course many people on the other side thought the exact same thing about Hillary Clinton. But seriously. Hillary was compared to Chairman Mao. And Trump was and continues to be compared to Hitler. Both evil people responsible for the deaths of tens of millions of innocent lives.

In other words fear. Fear there’s actually a very familiar foe to friendships or deep ones at least. But fear is the reason for such strong polarization and so many lost friendships.

The problem of course is that many of the so-called friends on Facebook we’re probably never friends to begin with and therefore it was very easy to unfriend and never feel any sadness about losing a friend. But some people have lost real friends. Sometimes not only to do with a volatile political season but because of the natural drifting apart of people over time and space. Some people drift apart in terms of their beliefs and shared experiences ideals and values. Why should their friendship suffer so? It dies, and that is the truth of it. I guess this post is a vent of a lament on Lost friendship.

Is there a such thing as a lament without whining? In my mind it is a sort of classy poetic way of whining.

Unless you reconnect the bonds of friendship. Unless you possess an innate ability two remain loyal to someone you rarely see or hear from. Friendships are lost.

 As I Lament I also implore you to do one of the two. Keep close to your heart and mind the moments you shared, the hugs, the laughs, the tears. 

These are your friends.

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